There's No Consolation Prize for Shitty Sex

Marisa Ebony

Summer days, the ones with a clear blue sky and no clouds, are the days that are worth waking up for. This is where the story begins and ultimately ends. The main character, we’ll call her Cleopatra, awoke with a smile on her face. How could she not? She was beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, extremely witty and best of all, desired by men and women alike. Cleo quickly dressed and had her morning coffee. Something was troubling young Ms. Cleo this morning. It seemed that suddenly there was something about this unusually bright day that didn’t settle right. She shook it off. She had been drinking the night before and had stayed at her friend Sugar’s apartment. Thinking hard about how to spend this gorgeous summer day Cleo walked Sugar to work.

“I think I’ll go visit Rock today,” Cleo said to Sugar before parting.

“You should! That’s a good idea.” Sugar had convinced her. Rock, by the way, was Ms. Cleo’s boyfriend and puzzlingly enough her ex-boyfriend at the same time. Rocks are generally described as dull, boring, lifeless things that sit around and do nothing. They hurt when they are thrown at people. There are way too many rocks in this world; invading our cities and towns and our water. They come in all shapes and sizes and colours. They can be damaged, but they can never be destroyed. Anyways, enough about rocks and their wonderful properties. The choice of Ms. Cleo was set; she was going to see Rock. Unfortunately for Cleo she would have to take public transportation because Rock lived with his mother all the way across town and Cleo didn’t have a car. Always optimistic, Cleo looked forward to this forty-five minute trip. When her train came, she got comfortable in the front car and began to chat up an older gentleman.

“How are you today sir?” she asked flashing her sparkling light brown eyes at him.

“Good, good. Warm day isn’t it?” The gentleman was obviously flattered that such a good-looking younger lady wanted to converse with him. She nodded her head letting her long, silky hair naturally highlighted by the sun swish from side to side. The train was getting full from all the commuters heading to the heart of the city. Making one of its routine stops, Ms. Cleo noticed a young mother getting on the train with three kids.

“Excuse me miss? Would you like to sit down?” Cleo called to the flustered girl. The girl gave a smile of thanks and sat down trying to fit her children on her lap. The next stop was Cleo’s. She now needed to transfer trains to get to the part where Rock lived. As she walked the block to the appropriate train station, Cleo noticed a homeless man sitting on a bench. She frowned, as if in thought, opened her purse and took out a five dollar bill.

“Sir, you need this more than I do.” She tucked it into his hand.

“Bless you dear! Thank you!” The man’s grimy and lined face broke out into a grin. Ms. Cleo’s heart surged with the pleasure at having done such a good deed. She crossed the street and a strange thought struck her. I could just go home. She was near her house. Nah! So instead of turning right, she ventured left. It must have been her lucky day because the train came right away. Since it was heading south, away from downtown, it was practically empty. She took out her make-up bag and began applying foundation, mascara and blush. She looked at her reflection in her compact mirror and smiled in satisfaction.

“I think so too.” A voice made her jump. Sitting to her left, across the aisle, was a young man. He was simply stunning with gorgeous curly locks, tanned skin and the greenest eyes she’d ever laid her own eyes on.

“Think what?” she asked stowing her make-up bag into her purse.

“That you’re pretty, you don’t need make-up.” This flattered her so much she felt her cheeks go red.

“Thank you. That’s a sweet thing to say.” Her voice faltered. Dammit! She thought. Why do all the fine guys hit on me when I’m spoken for!

“My name is Justin.” He introduced himself leaning over to shake her hand.

“Cleopatra.” She replied unable to look away from his beautiful face. They chatted the whole way until she had to get off the train.

“I’ll see you around sometime Cleopatra.” Justin said flashing a sexy grin. Smiling, Ms. Cleo began the walk towards Rock’s house. She briefly wondered if she should phone to make sure Rock was even home. She decided against it and walked on. A mixed feeling of dread and pleasure filled her belly and again had to stop and shake the feeling of foreboding.

Finally, she reached Rock’s house. She knocked and knocked but no one answered. She tried the knob and it was open! Cleo walked in the house. It smelled gross as usual, but she plowed on looking around for Rock’s mom. She wasn’t to be found, so Ms. Cleo headed downstairs where Rock lived and saw him sleeping in his bed.

“Wake up Rock, it’s me Cleo.” Rock was awake, buried under his smelly blankets.

“Uh… hey.” Cleo frowned, something was off.

“You okay?” She asked sitting on the edge of the bed. She jumped up immediately when she realized there was more than one person in the bed.

“Rock! Can I talk to you upstairs please?” Cleo said her voice changing to a higher pitch. Something was going on and apparently she had just interrupted.

“Ok… Uh give me a second.” Ms. Cleo stomped her beautiful ass upstairs and outside. Well I never! She thought. Of all the lowdown, loser things… Oh hell no! Foul language burst into her thoughts and she had a sudden vision of Rock bleeding on his front lawn. Rock, taking his sweet time, eventually came out.

“Who is that anyways?” Rock bowed his head in shame.

“Mildred.” Cleo’s world came crashing down with the mention of that name.

“You’re screwing a Mildred? You sick bastard. So this is why you want to break up!” Ms. Cleo screamed. Only silence came from Rock’s end. She backed away as if she had been pushed.

“Why couldn’t you tell me?” Cleo demanded. Rock scratched his arm absentmindedly.

“Too hard.” Then being the disgusting pig that he was, he farted. Ms. Cleo, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, burst into tears.

“You asshole! This is what you trade me in for? A Mildred!” She backed away further.

“Well, we haven’t slept together yet.” Time froze for a second. Yet? What ? Cleo thought.

“I’m sorry Cleo. Do you want a hug?” A hug? What do I need a hug from him for? She thought disgustedly.

“Hell no! Don’t you touch me!” Ms. Cleo said threateningly. She was still stuck on ‘yet’. “We lost each other as girlfriend and boyfriend. Now you’ve just lost me as a friend.” With that Cleo left Rock’s house sobbing uncontrollably. She phoned up Sugar at work and through the crying, related the story back to her.

“There’s a lesson to be learned here.” Sugar said consolingly. Yeah, the lesson is call people, especially your boyfriend, before you show up at his house. Also, there is no consolation prize for shitty sex.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: